Jungle Cruise is a fan favorite because of the puns and jokes that the skippers tell on the ride. Here are some of the great quotes, jokes, and puns that you’re sure to love from the movie.
These quotes could also be considered spoilers. You’ve been warned.
Don’t miss the nod to Dr. Albert Falls, the explorer that found the arrowhead during his expedition. He discovered the backside of water at Schweitzer Falls.
MacGregor – If I wanted to visit a primitive backwater where I can’t understand what anyone’s saying, I would visit our relatives in Scotland.
Skipper Frank – First of all, let me congratulate you on your excellent choice of Skipper. Of all the jungle cruises you could take in the Amazon, this is undoubtedly the cheapest.
If you look to the left of the boat, you’ll see some very playful toucans. They’re playing their favorite game of beak-wrestling. The only drawback is, only two can play.
The rocks you see here are in the river are sandstone. But some people just take them for granite. It’s one of my boulder attractions.
You know, before this, I used to work in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me, too.
You know, they say the boa constrictor right there is capable of eating up to 500 pounds per sitting. Personally, I find that very hard to swallow.
This is the highlight of the tour. It’s my favorite part of the jungle. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the eighth Wonder of the World. Wait for it… The backside of water!
All right, listen up, I get paid by the number I take out, not by the number of people I bring back. Hold on!
Well, folks, you were all outstanding today, now I need you all out, standing on the dock. That means, “Get off my boat.” I’m only serious.
Ma’am don’t forget to collect your baggage. I’m only kidding. He’s behind you.
Frank – Careful. They can smell fear.
Lily – I am not afraid.
MacGregor – Might be me. Warm, liquid fear. A little bit more fear just came out.
Lily – Oh no, “Frank owes me money,” we leave in ten minutes.
Lily- Oh, God sorry, Frank!
Frank – It’s all right. Strong form.
Frank – Hey MacGregor. Had a girlfriend once, she was cross-eyed. Didn’t work out. We could never see eye to eye. I’m also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side.
Lily- Tell you what Skippy, After this day, I could really do with that luxurious bath of yours. Is it, um, down there?
Frank – No, there’s no bath down there, Pants.
Frank – No, the bath is out there. That’s the bath. 4,300 miles of luxurious bath. I also warmed it a little bit for you earlier. Oh, and I know you can’t swim, so if you happen to drown out there, go ahead and, uh, use the soap to wash yourself ashore.
Frank – Looks like you wet your pants, Pants.
Lily – That was a wave.
Frank – You should give up.
Lily – You should give up the guitar.
Frank – We’re headed into headhunter territory, which is a terrible place to be headed.
Lily – Oh, Frank, come one. Not now.
Frank – I can’t turn it off.
MacGragor – My sister, who just made full professor at Cambridge, has asked me to respectfully reject your invitation of membership on her behalf. Which I will do. Just not respectfully. Gentleman, you can take your invitation and you can shove it up your association.
Lily – Are you ready for your first driving lesson?
Frank – I think so, Pants.
Lily – I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into here, Frank.
Frank – A car.
Lily – Oh, your jokes. They will be the death of me. They are absolutely exhausting.
Frank – Wow, Lily.
Lily – Did you like it?
Frank – It was good! Yeah!
Lily -Are you proud of me?